The Friendmance – Derek & Victoria – Part II (An IC Installment)

The waitress walks over to their table and starts to clear off the empty glasses. She looks tired but not unhappy. She’s having a rough night, but nothing she couldn’t handle. Her manager has been keeping a close eye on her, waiting for an opportunity to make her feel not so good about herself. Some people just enjoy the misery of others in order to forget about their own pathetic existence.


She smiles at Victoria and Derek and then takes a deep breath, ready to recite her dinner pitch once again. Hoping not to screw it up.


“Would you guys like another round of drinks?” She asked them. They both nodded their head yes. “Are you eating as well, can I tell you tonight’s specials?”


“Nothing for me thanks. Derek did you want to order something?” Victoria asked.


“Well I’m not hungry and will not be eating but you definitely can tell me what the specials are tonight.” Derek replied.


“Don’t be a dick. She looks like she’s had a hard day.”


“It’s okay I don’t mind.” The waitress said to her and then almost at whisper, “I actually can use the practice. I’m kind of new here and trying to get used to the way they do things.”


“See? She doesn’t think I’m being a dick. Go ahead. Give us the specials.” Derek said.


“Tonight we have Shrimp Marinara served over a bed of linguine with Broccoli-Rabe. We also have a Rib Eye steak with a rosemary balsamic glaze served with a side of purple fingerling potatoes and roasted garlic asparagus spears. Finally a triple fried chicken, your choice of breast or thighs with French fries.”


“You did very well, Lady.”


“I did? Thank you.” The waitress blushed.


“Like I said I’m not going to be eating but the ‘scrimp’ dish sounds delicious. My friend Victoria doesn’t like the ‘scrimps’, any seafood really, but if she was eating she would probably get the steak.”

“Okay we’re done here. Just another wine and beer please.” Victoria said to the waitress.


“Sure thing.” The waitress said as she walked back inside Slappy’s Bar to get their drinks.


“What?” Derek said to Victoria.


“Where to start?” She replied.


“Beginning is always good unless you’re Tarantino. Then the middle or the end is where you should start.”


“Okay, let’s start near the end. ‘You did good, lady?”


“She did very good. Like her nerves suddenly went away due to my calming nature.”


“She has a name.”


“I don’t know it yet though.”


“Instead of saying lady how about saying, ‘Excuse me but what is your name?”


“I can do that.”






“Why would you make her say the specials knowing full well you’re not going to eat?”


“Simply because I saw her having trouble at the other table. I saw Manger Mike giving her the evil eye and I knew that even though we weren’t eating, she could use a stress-free break, even if it was just for a moment, to stand here and not be bothered by some ill-mannered drunkard that would more than likely say something rude to her or get brow-beaten by Manager Mike.”


“Manager Mike?”


“Yeah, now you want to talk about someone being a dick. He’s it.”


“Okay, fair enough. One last thing”




“How did you remember I don’t like seafood?”


“Well you see that is my gift and unfortunately my curse. I remember things.”


“Wow, what else can you remember?”


He pretends to think for a moment, but he already knows what his answer will be. “You quit the TV show Lost because it was giving you funky dreams. I don’t know what the dreams were about, but it freaked you out enough to make you quit with only a season or so left to go.”


“Yes, I did quit because I would have these fucked up dreams of myself on the island and all these things would happen to me and then the next episode, the same thing would happen to one of the characters on the show.”


“Wow, that is freaky. Didn’t you teach me that all of the character’s names were of real people?”


“That’s right. They were named after philosophers, scientists, and from literature. I can’t believe you remember that.”


“I also remember that you’re fascinated by magic. Can’t get enough of the stuff.”


“Again, amazing.”


“Like I said, it’s my gift. And my curse.”


“So I want to tell you about something that happened to me the other day.”


“I’m all ears.”


“You ever have a Hershey’s Kiss?”


“A Hershey’s Kiss? Yes, I’ve had them. Not in a while but I have had them.”


“Did you know they have a strip of paper that says Hershey’s that they put in the foil?”


“I think I vaguely remember that.”


“Well I either forgot or thought they stopped doing it.”


“Oh no.”


“Oh yes. I ate about 15 of them before realizing I was eating the paper strip as well as the candy.”


The waitress arrives back to their table and hands them their drinks. She’s brought another wine for the lady and one beer for the gentleman. Her mood has taken a turn since her last visit to the table.



To Be Continued…

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