The Friendmance – D & V – Part III (An IC Installment)

Clearly upset, the waitress returns to Derek and Victoria’s table. Her hands slightly tremble as she placed the drinks onto the table in front of their respective recipients.


“Excuse me ma’am, what’s your name?” Derek asked the waitress.

“My name?” She asked.

“Yes, your name.”

“My name is Nicole.”

“Nicole, I couldn’t help but notice you’re upset. Is there anything I can do?”

“No, I’ll be okay. Thanks for asking though.”

“Does it have anything to do with Manager Mike?” He asked her.

“It’s nothing really.”

He could tell she was not being truthful and said, “I know how he can be sometimes.”

“No really it’s okay.”

“Will you both excuse me for a moment?”


Derek walks past the bouncer that is guarding the door that leads back inside Slappy’s Bar. There’s a quick exchange of head nods between the two and Derek heads straight to the bar where Manager Mike is sitting. They exchange words for a few moments and Derek returns to the table, head nodding the bouncer on the way back.


“What was that all about?” Victoria asked Derek.

“That? It was nothing. By the way Nicole, you won’t have anymore trouble with your boss any longer and our next round is on him.”

“You didn’t have to do that.” The waitress said to him. “I don’t want things to get worse.

“I’m telling you, you have nothing to worry about.”
The waitress thanked him and left their table to tend to another group at a neighboring table.


“A couple of things.” Victoria said.

“What’s that?”

“Very nice with the ‘Excuse me ma’am what is your name?’ bit.”

“Thank you.”

“Secondly and thirdly, what and why did you say something to the manager?”

“I know what it’s like to have a shit day and having a shit person shitting all over you.”

“Wow, that’s a lot of shit.”
“I know right? Anyways, I just reminded Manager Mike of Karma and how he should really ease up on the staff lest he want the effects of Karma to reign down upon him in furious anger.”

“Lest he? Furious anger?”

“Sounded good and channeled Tarantino for a minute. I also reminded him that I’m pretty close with the owner. Hey did I ever tell you about the time –“

“Stop right there.” Victoria interrupted.

“Stop right what?”

“I haven’t seen you in forever. I’m pretty sure that you’ve never told me about the time of whatever it is you were going to say.”

“Maybe, maybe not. I talk a lot. I repeat a lot of stories. Can’t remember to who and if any of it ever sticks.”

“Fair enough, continue.”

“Did I ever tell you about the time I was practicing karate kicks?”

“Ummm, no. I can safely say that you haven’t. Were you channeling your inner David Lee Roth at the time?”

“No, more like my inner Bruce Lee. Anyways, it was back when I was working for the butcher shop. I had to clean up and just finished hosing down the room.”

“Hosing down the room?”

“Yeah, you hose all the blood and stuff off the saw and tables and it goes down the drain in the floor.”


“Tell me about it. So I finished that up and after that you have to squeegee the excess water down the drain so the floor isn’t as slippery.”

“What does that have to do with practicing karate kicks?”

“I’m getting there. So I’m done with all the cleaning, the squeegee is completed and I look at the clock and I have some time before punching out for the day. I decided that right then and there was a good time for karate kicks.”

“Seems as good a time as any.”

“So I kick up my one leg high into the air. I think to myself, I can do better than that so do it again. The second kick was so much higher than the first one. Only problem was in doing it, my second leg decided that it no longer wanted to remain on the floor and wanted to join my other leg.”

“Oh no.”

“Oh yes. Before I could realize what was happening both legs are now up in the air, parallel to each other. As fast as they went up, they came down. I landed flat on my back.”

“Were you okay, did you get hurt?”

“I was fine. I was more embarrassed than hurt. I think it’s pretty needless to say I never practiced karate kicks again.”

“It’s all for the best. You should really leave that to David Lee Roth.”

“Or the guys from all of the Kung Fu movies ever made.”



To Be Continued…

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