Monthly Archives: July 2010

Dog Licking Bunghole


Dear Gary, I went out on a date with this girl and things went really well. They went so well that she invited me up to her place for a “night cap”. It didn’t take long before we made our … Continue reading

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Morning Sex and Home Wreckers


Dear Gary, I have a problem that is impeding on my sleep. My girlfriend has an insatiable appetite for sex. The only problem with this is, I have a very demanding job and a lot of times she stays up … Continue reading

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Talking With Your Mouth Full


Dear Tired of Removing Food Bits From My Hair,

What we have here is a little bit of a predicament but can easily go away by following this simple advice.
This will involve you carrying a bottle of water with you at all times. The next time “Rich” starts talking with his mouth full, take a swig of water and whilst he’s in mid-sentence, spit it into his face. His first reaction will be one of shock and he will probably ask you what you did that for. Ignore him and walk away.
More than likely he will talk with his mouth full again, my advice to you is to repeat this process of spitting the water at him until he finally learns his lesson. It will probably take 5x of this occuring before he gets it.

Thanks for the question Tired of Removing Food Bits From My Hair!

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Skateboarding, Slushee Drinks and Beards


Dear Gary, My neighbor’s kids are driving me crazy. He is constantly terrorizing the neighborhood with his skateboard antics and drinking slushees all the time. (Chasing Amy’s Jason Lee from his skateboarding days) In addition, he’s taking a fancy to … Continue reading

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