The Friendmance – D & V – Part V (An IC Installment)

The wine and beer flowed steadily as the evening progressed. Both of them were starting to feel the effects of the alcohol. Victoria looked at Donny and asked, “Can I tell you something?”


“Sure.” Came his reply. “Otherwise we would just be sitting here in an awkward silence.”


“Nothing. Please, tell me something.”

“Before this night is over. I’m going to dance with you.”

“You’re going to dance with me?”


“Well, this place isn’t really cut out for dancing.”

“I don’t care.”

“Well if I can speak honestly here.”

“Please do.”

“I wouldn’t be opposed to it.”

“Awww, how cute.”

“What, what’s cute?”

“You’re drunk.”

“A little. What gave it away?”

“You said you would dance with me.”

“I never came out and said I would. I just said I wasn’t opposed to it.”

“Yup, you and I are going to dance.”

“Ok. We’ll see.”


Nicole clears the glasses from the table and brings over another round.


“Hey.” Victoria said.

“No YOU hey.” Derek replied.

“What? What does that even mean?”

“I really don’t know.”

“Anyway, remember the last time we saw each other?”

“You’re asking me?”

“Yes, I am asking you.”

“I do, because I have the memory and weight of a baby elephant, but please refresh my memory.”

“I remember it clearly, we were hungry and wanted something to eat. I remembered that Italian place wasn’t that far away and took you there.”
“I remember.”

“The pasta there is so good. Was it not?”

“Yes, it was very good as I recall.”

“I was trying so hard to beat the clock.”

“I don’t even know what that means. What does ‘beat the clock’ mean?”

“Well, basically it means that when you know the food is so good you eat as much as you possibly can before that feeling of fullness kicks in.”

“Okay so you do what again exactly?”

“I shovel as much of the tortellini and gnocchi that I can in my mouth. Nom nom nom.”

Derek lets out a big laugh that results in a very loud snort.

“Oh my God. You totally just snorted.” She said to him.

“Yes, I did, but can I say something?”

“Please do.”

“You have never been hotter than you are right now telling the beat-the-clock story.”

“I know sexy, right?”

“Oh yes definitely. I remember that night. I just thought you were really hungry.”

“Nope, totally trying to beat the clock.”

“I also remember having a difficult time trying to keep up with you walking to the place.”

“Yes, I was on a mission. I was wondering why you were so slow.”

“I was just pacing myself.”

“Bill Murray? Stripes?”

“Yup that’s the one. Hey, speaking of Bill Murray.”


“Did I ever tell you about the time – “ Victoria shoots Derek a look. “What? Old habits.”

“Continue.” She said to him.

“I was just going to say about how I got into the effects of Karma.”

“What does Karma have to do with Bill Murray?”

“Nothing really. I just wanted to talk about Karma.”

“Holy non sequitur, Batman.”

“I’m sorry what?”

“Nothing, please go on with the Karma.”

“All I was going to say is everything that I’ve learned about Karma has been from watching TV.”


“Yes, a few years ago there was a show called My Name is Earl.”

“I remember that. It was with the guy from Mallrats, right?”

“Yes, Chasing Amy’s Jason Lee as I like to refer to him.”

“Refresh my memory. What was the show about?”

“This guy Earl who’s a life-long criminal wins the lottery but on the same day he’s hit by a car. He’s watching Carson Daly and learns about Karma from him. So he decides he’s going to change his life and putting right every wrong he’s ever made.”

“Ah yes, now I remember.”

“He makes a list and crosses the people off the list as he makes up for whatever he did.”

“Okay, but you do realize Karma is a complex structure present in Eastern Religion based on Buddhism.”

“That’s the same thing Marcia Brady said to Earl on the show.”

“Marcia Brady?”

“Yeah, you know, Ben Stiller’s wife.”

“Okaaaaaaaaay. So you agree, there’s more to it than that.”

“I have to go with what he said to Marcia Brady. Boiling it down to its simplest form”

“What was that?”

“Do good things. Good things happen.”

“Hey, whatever works for you. Is it working for you?”

“I don’t know really.”

“Why’s that?”

“Because I keep thinking negative shit about people and I think it’s fucking up my karma.”

“I’ve got the solution for that.”

“Oh yeah, what’s that?”

“You should totally start making a list.”


Another round comes to the table as the two of them continue to sit there laughing and talking as the hours pass on by.


To Be Continued…

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