Things Not To Say on a First Date – Part III


Good lord those things are huge. They’re not real are they?

 

I heard that chicks like guys who go commando so I decided to give it a try. Put some baby powder down there as not to chafe. It was shortly after that I remembered not to come out with a bullet in the chamber. I grabbed some lotion and started to rub one out, totally forgetting about the baby powder. Fast-forward to now; I’ve created a quasi-paste from the lotion and the powder and I’m not sure how that’s going to affect us having sex later. Any thoughts?

 

Do you mind if my mom joins us?

 

If I run off in the middle of dinner, don’t be offended. The tomatoes mixed with the wheat pasta from my dinner may aggravate my IBS and I may need to dash to the bathroom to tend to some violent diarrhea.

 

Full disclosure: I’m a Furry. I like to dress up in animal costumes while having sex.

 

No hablo inglés.

 

I know my dating profile says that I’m 5’ 10” but really 5’ 2” is the new 5’ 10” if you think about it.

 

I’m sorry, no offense, but I totally want to fuck our waiter.

 

When you said dinner and a movie, did you not mean White Castle to go and Netflix & chill?

 

Can I lick your neck?

 

 

 

 

 

 

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One Response to Things Not To Say on a First Date – Part III

  1. Lawrence says:

    the always entertaining Guarasci always leaves me hooting with laughter… 😂😂😂

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