- She spits in your coffee.
- Every time you walk into the room she starts singly Ugly Kid Joe’s “Everything About You”.
- She wraps up stuff that you bought for yourself – that you thought you lost -and gives it to you for your birthday.
- She cancelled all of your magazine subscriptions and replaced them with, Glamour, Cosmopolitan, and Dr. Oz.
- She has secretly replaced the Parmesan cheese with rat poison.
UGLY KID JOE LYRICS
“Everything About You”
I hate the rain and sunny weather
And I hate beach and mountains too
(And) I don’t like a thing about the city, no, no
And I, I, I, hate the countryside too!
And I, hate everything about you!
…Everything about you!
And I don’t like a thing about your mother
And I, I hate your daddy’s guts too
And I don’t like a thing about your sister, no, no
‘Cause I, I, I think sex is overrated too
And I get sick when I’m around, I can’t stand to be around
I hate everything about you!
Everything about you, everything about you, everything about you!
Some say I’ve got a bad attitude
But that don’t change the way I feel about you
And if you think this might be bringing me down
Look again ’cause I ain’t wearing no frown!
Well, I don’t really care about your sister
Forget the little bitch, ’cause I already kissed her
One thing that I did to your lady
I put her on the bed and she didn’t say maybe
I know you know everybody knows
The way it comes, the way it’s gonna go
You think it’s sad
Well that’s too bad
‘Cause I’m havin’
A ball hatin’
Every little thing about you! ha-ha!
Everything about you, everything about
I get sick when I’m around
I can’t stand to be around
I hate everything about…
*Lyrics reprinted without permission*
Heavy. (Sorry, I’m from the 70s.)