The White Rabbit Incident


“Good morning.” She said to him as she wiped the sleep from her eyes. He didn’t budge. She gently tapped him on the shoulder and said, “Hey, we have to wake up now if we want to get a move on.” He rolled over on his side and continued sleeping. She, not so gently this time, started shaking his shoulder. “Come on you have to get up. Get up. Get up. Get up. Get up.” He rolled back over and looked at her. She smiled and said, “Good morning honey. Did you have a good sleep?” He continued to stare at her and was about to speak when a thought raced through his mind. Without hesitation he muttered, “White rabbit.”

“I’m sorry. What?” She asked.

“White rabbit.” He repeated.

“No good morning. No let’s get going. Just ‘white rabbit’?”

“Today’s the 1st.”

“Yeah, so?”

“Well on the 1st of every month you have to say, ‘White rabbit’ before you say anything else.”

“You do?”

“Yes, otherwise it won’t happen.”

“What won’t happen?”

“You won’t get any money.”

“I’m sorry, you’re losing me. Money for what?”

“Money for anything really. Lottery scratchers, lip stick, comic books, hair accessories, anything really.”

“I like how you snuck comic books in there.”

“I know.”

“But I don’t understand how saying, ‘white rabbit’ is going to get you money.”

“I don’t know how it works, but it does. I say it the first of the month and I get extra money.”

“And how long have you been doing this?”

He paused and looked upwards for a few seconds in quasi-deep thought before responding, “It’s got to be going on 20 years now.”

“20 years?”

“Give or take.”

“We’ve been married for 10. How did I not know about this?”

“I guess you have to learn to start paying better attention.”

“Whatever. So how much money do you get every month?”

“It depends. Sometimes it’s a lot and sometimes… not so much.”

“What’s not so much?”

“Last month was only 95 cents.”

“95 cents?”

“Yeah but I don’t know if 35 of those cents count because I found it in the couch while looking for the remote.”

“So the big white rabbit take was a whopping 60 cents?”

“You laugh, but a couple of months ago we got $250 from those scratchers.”

“And you think this white rabbit helped us win?”

“Of course, I said white rabbit on the 1st so we got the loot.”

“Interesting that I’ve never known about it before. What else don’t I know about? Do have a lucky cigarette?”

The man flushes red with embarrassment. “No way. That’s so 80’s of you.” She continued, as she rummaged through his pack of cigarettes looking for the lucky one.

“I don’t have confirmation that it’s worked yet.” He explained.

“You don’t? No wishes have come true yet?” She asked as she found the upside down cigarette, signifying that this was indeed the lucky one.

“No, not yet but it’s not for want of trying.”

“What have you wished for?”

“Nothing much, just a new car, a new job, a new house, and a million dollars.”

“Will you really need a new job if you had a million dollars?

“No, I guess not.”

“That’s it, nothing else?”

“Oh yeah, I wish that ‘the white rabbit’ brings me more money.”

“This is a side of you that I’ve never seen before. It’s… cute.”

“It will be a lot cuter when they come true.”

“I’ll tell you this, you never cease to amaze me.”

“Really, why is that?”

“Just because.”

She takes one of her cigarettes and places it back in the pack upside down.

“What are you doing?” He asked.

“Making wishes.”

 

The End

 

 

Dedicated to the memory of Brian Todd

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One Response to The White Rabbit Incident

  1. Lawrence says:

    thank you Mr G! I so needed that today! #blueMonday!

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