Things Not To Say On A First Date – Part I

I like your eyes. They look like candy. I want to eat your eyes.

I sure would like to see you eating a banana.

Do you want to see how many shrimps I can fit into my mouth at once?

Don’t worry about me lasting long during sex. I masturbated before I came out tonight.

Big Boobs says what?

Don’t worry about the check. We’re just going to dine and dash anyway.

Past relationships? Well, my husband’s in jail, my boyfriend’s in jail and my other boyfriend’s there too.

I really like your earrings. My wife has a pair just like them.

Can we just fast forward to the part of the evening where we fuck?

That’s. What. She. Said.

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1 Response to Things Not To Say On A First Date – Part I

  1. jack in the fox says:

    changed my name

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