Food Poisoning Incident


He came home from work early on Friday evening to find his roommate sitting on the couch underneath a blanket. Yeesh. She’s looked better, he thought to himself. She smiles at him wearily as he puts his briefcase on the counter and sorts through the mail while sitting in his favorite chair.

“I’m never going back to that Chinese buffet ever again.” She said.

“You went to that place on Main Street?” He asked.

“Yes, for lunch today and I’m never going back, I tell you.”

“Is there something I can do for you?”

She ponders his question for a moment before beaming, “Dance for me!”

“Are you serious?”

“No, I just want to eat sandwiches and brownies with you forever.”

“Sandwiches and brownies only? What about cheese sticks?”

“Oh yeah and cheese sticks too.” She says as she perks up on the couch.

“And that’s it, right?”

“Well… No, I’m probably going to want bitch bread too.”

“Bitch bread?”

“Yeah, the little round breads that look like they took a roll and smooshed it down flat. You know the kinds?”

“Yeah, I think I do.”

“I’ll eat those too.”

“Okay.”

“Oh, and Country Store Bolgna.”

“Anything else?”

“Chicken soup.”

“Unh-huh.”

“Five cheese curls.”

“Only five?”

“Yes, five is plenty.”

“It’s going to take you a long time to finish that bag then.”

“That’s okay, I’m patient. I’ll also need a can of jalapenos.”

“Are you sure about that? I mean with a case of food poisoning and all.”

“Let’s stick a pin in that one.”

“Okay, is that it?”

“No. One pizza – no crust.”

“Odd, but okay,”

“A gordita.”

“Mixing ethnicities, I can dig it.”

“Oh and spicy mustard.”

“Anything to wash it down with?”

“Oh gosh. I don’t like root beer, but a root beer float.”

He gets up and grabs his coat as he heads towards the front door. She looks at him with a puzzled look.

“Where are you going?” She asks.

“The supermarket. You just gave me our grocery list.”

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5 Responses to Food Poisoning Incident

  1. Lawrence Doane says:

    Gary, as always you astound me with your acute observations of everyday life and make it very interesting. thanks

  2. Pingback: Tweets that mention Food Poisoning | Guarasci Land -- Topsy.com

  3. our site says:

    i want to get one

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