We’re still a couple of years away but it’s never to early to start talking about 12-21-2012.
According to Click Here: “The Solstice on December 21, 2012—precisely at 11:11 AM Universal Time—marks the completion of the 5,125 year Great Cycle of the Ancient Maya Long Count Calendar.
Rather than being a linear end-point, this cycle that is closing is naturally followed by the start of a new cycle. What this new cycle has in store for humanity is a mystery that has yet to unfold…”
I don’t know about you but I can read betwixt the lines. This can only mean one thing – Zombie Apocalypse.
A friend of mine pointed out this impending doom. Prior to our conversation, I had heard rumblings of the end of the world occurring in 2012, but she opened my eyes to a fate much worse: The Zombie Apocalypse.
It all happened innocently over a shared plate of cheese fries with gravy.
“So have you given it any thought?” She asked.
“Given any thought to what?” I replied.
“What you’re going to do for the Zombie Apocalypse.”
“I’m sorry the what?”
“The Zombie Apocalypse. It’s coming you know?”
“That’s what she said.”
“Never mind. What’s the Zombie Apocalypse?”
“Don’t tell me you’ve never heard of it.” She asked as she dunked a French Fry into the cup of brown gravy.
“The Zombie Apocalypse is going to happen on 12-21-2012. It’s the day when the dead rise from their grave and take over the world. It’s going to be pretty bad. Have you given any thought to what you’re going to do?”
“Considering that I just heard about it two minutes ago, I have not.”
“Well you should start coming up with a plan like I did.”
“I think my plan is going to be to hide.”
“Yes, I’m going to find a spot to hide and then wait it out.”
“You can’t just hide. You’re going to have to fight them.”
“No, I’m pretty good with hiding from them. Preferably in a candy store.”
“You can’t hide in a candy store.”
“Why not? Do zombies like candy?”
“No they don’t like candy. They like brains.”
“Well then I’m pretty sure I’m safe. I have a very small brain.”
“You’re going to have to hook up with other survivors and fight them.”
“I don’t really work well in a team setting. I’m going to stick with hiding in a candy store. What’s your plan for this Zombie Apocalypse?”
“I’m glad you asked. I plan on hooking up with the Vampires.”
“I’m sorry you’re going to what?”
“You heard me. I’m going to hook up with the Vampires and they’re going to make me one of their own and we’re going to take out all of the Zombies.”
“So you’re going to hook up with an imaginary group to take out another imaginary group?”
“Oh they’re real.”
“Yes, the Vampires. There are so many out there just sucking the soul right out of you.”
“I think you’re talking about Emotional Vampires.”
“No, I’m talking about Vampire-Vampires. I have it all planned out. I’m going to wear my leather pants and that black lacy top.”
“So you’re going to be like Kate Beckinsale in Underwold?”
“I’m sorry. Who in what?”
“Kate Beckinsale… Underworld… The hot Vampire chick that fought Werewolves? Remember I was walking around with my Underworld review for weeks going, ‘The werewolf man goes like this, he goes, ROOOOAAAARRRR and the vampire lady goes like this, she goes, CHOMP! CHOMP! CHOMP! CHOMP! Being a Vampire Chick and all I’m sure you would have remembered it or at least seen the movie.”
“Oh I remember you saying that I just didn’t know what you were talking about so I just nodded and smiled. Nodded and smiled. Just for clarification, I’m not a Vampire Chick… yet.”
“It’s a great movie.”
“Is it like Twilight?”
“No it’s nothing like Twilight. No Emo-Vampires sulking around brooding”
“I like Twilight.”
“I’m sorry you what?”
“I said I like Twilight. Team Edward all the way!”
“Go Team Edward!”
“Waitress?” I say motioning the nice lady back over to our table. “Check please.”