Road Rage

Dear Gary,

Lately I’ve been having a problem with other drivers on the road. They are constantly pissing me off. I can’t get from point A to point B without cursing at someone, flipping the bird, or slamming on my brakes to avoid an accident. Just this morning on my long commute to work, I almost got into two accidents because people aren’t paying attention. I actually saw a chick putting on eye makeup this morning. The other guy came out of nowhere and totally cut me off. I couldn’t help but to scream out in rage. I know that this isn’t healthy for me, but I don’t know what to do to calm down. Any suggestions?

Road Raged – Livingston, NJ

Dear Road Raged,

You’re absolutely right, this is not healthy for you but at all. The aggravation that you’re going through can lead to some serious health conditions including, but not limited to death. Since we want you to stick around for a long, long time my suggestion to you is this:

Give In To Your Rage

That’s right, nobody wants you keeling over from a heart attack on the middle of the highway, this will just cause more traffic. So, the next time someone pisses you off, I want you to get out of the car and drag the mother fucker that pissed you off out of the driver side window and proceed to give them the biggest beat down that they ever had in their life. Don’t take too much time with this, as it will be early rush hour and that leaves to chance a lot of witnesses. Repeat as often as necessary on your way in. After you get some of that pent-up aggression out of your system, proceed to work and maybe treat yourself to a bagel on the way. Who knows? You might even find yourself whistling on your way to work from now on.

Thanks for the question Road Raged!

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1 Response to Road Rage

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