Due to a small shortage of Q’s to A, I will be bringing another story time adventure for you to enjoy…
Have you often times wished that you could take something back that you have said out of anger?
I can’t even look at you right now!
Do you think back on arguments that you have had with your significant other regretfully?
Are you kidding me? What were you thinking?
At one time or another, we have all said things that we wish that we had not.
Just who do you think you’re talking to like that?
Words can sting sometimes, yes?
I have been found guilty of this on many occasions in the past and rmore than likely will probably be guilty of it in the future. Arguments between couples might eventually tear the relationship apart, but it can also provide to be a healthy part of said relationship. Learning from them is the key to growth in any relationship.
At one time or another, in any relationship, the first fight is bound to occur. I can remember my first fight with the first girlfriend I ever had as if it were yesterday. As teenagers without driver’s licenses, we were limited to what we could do and at that particular point in our lives, walking over to the next town’s movie theater was our only choice for an opportunity of canoodling. I looked at my watch with the patience of a child.
“Are you almost ready? The movie’s going to start in twenty minutes and it’s going to take us fifteen just to walk there.”
“Just a minute, please.”
“You said that a half hour ago.”
“I know, but now I’m looking for shoes to wear.”
What is it with women and shoes? They only have two feet. Why do they need so many?
“What you had .. was fine.”
“Oh okay. I think I’m going to put on sneakers instead. Is it cold out?”
“I don’t know. I’m not outside. Let’s goooooooooo.”
“Do you think I should bring a sweater?”
“I think we need to leave now if we want to make the beginning of the movie.”
We never made it to the movie. She got marked for a tardy.
I never quite understood the fascination of women and shoes, but this was my first experience with it. For me, a man only needs three types of shoes; a pair of sneakers, a pair of work boots, and dress shoes for formal functions. Ladies on the other hand need ones for taking the bus into the city, ones for work, ones for around the house, ones for the nightlife, ones for summer, spring, winter and fall, and of course flip-flops. Flip-flops are a type of foot apparel that makes a god-awful clickety-clack noise of the flip (or is it the flop) slapping the soles of the feet, with each step. Ugh.
Ultimately, the relationship did not work out and looking back, the argument of making it to the movies on time could have led to the downfall. There were other arguments that occurred afterwards. She ended up with too many tardies that led to her eventual dismissal. If anything, I took away from that relationship a sense of awareness that arguing could lead to eventual breakups. Who woulda thunk?
Someone once said, “For the love of money is a root of all kinds of evil”. I do not know if this statement is true, but money can play a critical role in relationships and their arguments. I recall the time an intense argument occurred over money in one of my past relationships.
“Did you seriously spend $600 on shoes?” I asked.
Oh brother, not again with the shoes. Please dear God in Heaven, not again with the shoes.
“I said sandals. I bought sandals not shoes.”
“What would possess you to spend that much on shoes?”
“They were Jimmy Choos, and they’re sandals not shoes.”
“Jimmy Choo. They’re the strappy ones. You said you liked them.”
“I liked them a whole lot better before I realized you spent $600 for them.”
“Yeah, yeah, yeah. I don’t complain when you buy you’re stupid video games at $50 a pop.”
“They’re not stupid and they are very important.”
“They improve hand to eye coordination in case I ever have to… you know?”
“Need to have cat-like reflexes.”
“Yeah, that’s what you need, cat-like reflexes.”
Oh my God. Look at the time. My watch must have stopped. Surely, this cannot be correct.
“We’re going to have to talk about this later. We’re going to be late.”
Subsequently, arguments do not necessarily have to be destructive. There are some arguments that are healthy for relationships; health issues as an example. It is only out of love that one would argue about another’s eating habits. Why else would someone care what one throws down one’s gullet? A plate of cheese fries with gravy was the kindling for the fire of a past argument.
“Seriously Gary, do you know how much fat and cholesterol is in that plate that you’re eating right now?”
“No. How much?”
“I don’t know but it can’t be good for you. You really have to start eating healthier.”
“I eat plenty healthy.”
“Okay, take me through your day. What did you have to eat all day.”
“Yes. Start with breakfast.”
“I didn’t have breakfast today.”
“Oh no? What were you eating on the couch this morning while watching cartoons before I left for work?”
“Oh that. I had a bowl of Count Chocula© cereal before I left for work. But that’s not breakfast that was more of a snack.”
“Snack, really? Whatever. What about lunch?”
“Lunch? Let me think. Oh yeah, me and some guys from work went to Hooters and split some wings.”
“Hooters, huh? We’ll talk about that one later. Was that all you had?”
“Well the wings were on the side of a Chicken Philly Cheese steak and we all shared the wings, ya know? I didn’t have fries because I knew I was going to have them tonight.”
“So you opted out of the fries and replaced them with what?”
“My God Gary, how can you eat all that fried stuff all day long?”
“What can I say? Fried stuff with cheese. Good times.”
“Promise me that you’ll at least try to eat a little healthier during the week and cut down on the fried stuff to just the weekends. Can you at least do that?”
“Okay honey. I’ll try to limit it to weekends only.”
“Would you look at what time it is. We have to go. We’re going to be late to visit Fred and Ethel. I can’t wait to show her my new shoes.”
Whether it proves to be healthy or unhealthy to a relationship, arguments are likely to happen. Some good can occur because of them, while at other times it is serves as the end. We can learn from these arguments and grow or suffer to repeat them; constantly moving from one relationship to another. From positive and negative outcomes, I just hope that I have learned something along the way. One of the lessons learned:
Do Not Be Late.