Question Talkers, Vodka for Breakfast and The Dumbing Down of a Nation

Dear Gary,

Is it me? On my morning drive to work in the I almost get hit by another driver pretty regularly. When I walk through the parking lot of my son’s day care,

at least once a week, I watch a mother/father and child just miss being ran over by someone as they are not looking as they back up their car/truck. What is wrong with people?

Konfused – Kinnelon, NJ

Dear Konfused,

Clearly these people are drunk when they are dropping off their kids to day care. The only option that I see for you to do is – join ‘em!

That’s right.

Skip the Cheerios for breakfast and pour yourself a bowl of vodka instead.

This way you are on an even step with the other folks at the day care center and will probably make an interesting start to your day.

Thanks for the question Konfused!

Dear Gary,

I werk in customer service and most of my customers I swear to gawd are compleet idiots as they can’t not comprehend the simplest of things. Now I am not a Harverd gradyooit or nuttin like that, however I find myself axing to myself out lowd, ‘am I really that smart or is most of the population really that dumb?’

Wats your take on this?

Genius – Lodi, NJ

Dear Genius,

First things first, you WORK in customer service and if you must swear, GOD would be the correct spelling. The idiots that you speak of are COMPLETE idiots, not compleet. Your usage of “can’t not” is a double negative and it doesn’t even make any sense. It’s clear that you are not a HARVARD GRADUATE or NOTHING like that. I’m a smidge confused on how you are ASKING to yourself out LOUD. One or the other – not both. My guess is that you are a butcher, because you are “axing” the English language. Clearly, you can count yourself among the dumb of the population. I say this to you with nothing but love o’course.

Nevertheless, to answer your question, the population – as a whole – is not getting dumber but their attention span is waning. With the growing need for instant gratification, and information always available at your fingertips, the need to retain knowledge is slowly becoming a non-essential way of being.

Do I see this as only a trend, and things will change for the better? Probably not.

Do I count myself as one of the many dumb?  You better believe it.

Am I slowly becoming a “Question Talker”?  Probably.

My advice to you comes as a quote from the great Apollo Creed: “Stay in school and use your brain. Be a doctor, be a lawyer, carry a leather briefcase. Forget about sports as a profession. Sports make ya grunt and smell. See, be a thinker, not a stinker.”

Thanks for the question Genius!

Dear Gary,

What is a “Question Talker”?

No Clue – Hillsdale, NJ

Dear No Clue,

“A question talker is a person who askes themselves a question, for the sole purpose of answering it themselves.” (2010)

As you may or may not know, I have recently picked up this habit.

Thanks for the question No Clue!

Urban Dictionary (2010) Retrieved from


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