Talking With Your Mouth Full


Dear Gary,

My problem isn’t a major one, but it’s annoying me nonetheless. One of my co-workers, let’s call him “Ricardo Montalbán” is constantly talking with his mouth full of food. What is a tactful way of telling him that it is really gross when he does this? How do I get him to up his game in the manners category?

Tired of Removing Food Bits From My Hair – New York, NY

Dear Tired of Removing Food Bits From My Hair,

There’s a simple solution to your problem. It involves a bottle of water and a little perfect timing. The next time “Ricardo Montalbán” is talking with his mouth full, take a swig from your bottle and spit it at him. Try to get a good spray action like the WWE’s Triple H if you can.

If you time it just right, you will be able to do it while his mouth is still open. Score yourself two points if you do. More than likely, his first reaction will be all, “What the Fraggle Rock© are you doing?” At that point, you just walk away. He probably will not put 2 and 2 together at first so you can count on having to do this several times before he takes the hint that talking with his mouth full will be followed by a face full of Poland Spring.I’m figuring 7 or 8 times will do the trick.

Thanks for the question, Tired of Removing Food Bits From My Hair!

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